Arrived India, Goa, Dabolim airport. The standard border procedures have ended, after which, all the people eager for recreation, began to dismantle buses. And here it is more interesting … All the elderly, respectable and plump citizens were taken away to the South. And those who are younger, but crumpled after an active libation in an airplane, in the North. And, I think, in many ways, the direction speaks for itself …
There is a refrigerator, air conditioning. By the way, the condec broke after a week. But in the room there were two ceiling fans, in two main rooms, respectively. The fan blades looked like a helicopter, blown hard, so I did not have an air conditioner. The bathroom is equipped with a toilet and shower, a washbasin in some small cot between the bedroom and the living room. The sink did not fail, there was no interruption with hot water either. But the insidious toilet bowl (poisonous-blue color!), Having conspired with the condender, stopped spewing the water and performed flushing exactly one week later.
But in the corner stood the same blue bucket. Design, whatever you say! I had to take it in hand. I could be so and touched this cherished vessel to the end of the rest, if not for my faithful friends. One of them, carefully bent the carnations from the locked door, which I had in my room was three. And there, for the joy of me, there was a working toilet! What was behind the remaining two clogged doors, and remained a mystery. In the room were available two glasses, towels from the disinfection chamber (I advise you to have your own), and not soaping soap.
Yes, and SIX rolls of toilet paper! And what only Indians think of us? Near the hotel was a construction site. The puncher worked all day and there was another building dolbyzh, though, by night, they died down. Since I was almost at night in the hotel, I did not complain. But there was another problem with that. At night, the building was guarded by dogs. And so, one day, going back poznovatenko to their chic chorus, I pass through the protected object. And here on me, with wild barking, six local wolfhounds are rushing.
I raised a squeal of such force that even the coolest soprano in the world is resting !!! But it did not stop the evil creatures. I grasp, and with a sidelong glance I observe that from the side of the reception there runs an Indian with two cobblestones in his hands. Hoping that the defender will come running first, I yelped. But the Hindu, not believing in his sprinter abilities, began to throw stones from afar. I covered my head with my hands and sat down, afraid of head injury. The Hindu was tagged and threatening, I, fortunately, did not get it.
The dogs retired, and I was quietly transported to a quiet hysteria. In the morning, I told the administration everything that boiled up. She asked to remove the dogs. As a result, the dogs stayed in place, different departments are visible. But every evening, when I returned to the hotel, I was met by a man and accompanied straight to the room. Breakfast is included, but I did not eat, because buns, jams and toasts contribute to obesity, and I have enough of my fats. The pool is not bad. Deep, there are good filters.
On the shores of the pool, elderly Europeans mingle. Yes, by the way, Beira Mar Alfran Resorts is one of the few “dvushek”, where few Russians. What particularly pleased the hotel, so it’s proximity to the beach (Baga). I walked for 7 minutes with my royal gait, while stopping at the numerous souvenir shops and shops along the way. And in conclusion, I will tell you about one strangeness in this hotel. With nothing similar, anywhere in the world, I have not come across …
Took, it means, the stomach of one of my friends. Closest of all, my hotel was. There and ran. The guy with a run to my poisonous-blue friend rushed. And I sat down on the sofa and humbly wait. There’s a knock at the door. It is a fierce Indian with a reception, and requires a man to leave my apartment urgently. I’m talking turkey, he can not now, he croaks. But the guardian of the order does not go away, but squeezes deeper into the room. So he met my happy friend at the exit from the toilet.
Deciding that this is some kind of misunderstanding, we just laughed. But the next day, another friend of mine, from our numerous company, drove me from the beach on a motorbike. Motobike with a friend, I do not let go, because then you have to walk on foot. I ask him to wait until I change my swimsuit on dry linen. I leave my friend in the living room, I go to the shower myself. I hear a noise. Naturally, this morals police is trying to expel my driver with a moped.
The Hindu driver sent far away and shut the door. But after three minutes, to help the discouraged guard, three more turkeys ran up and literally started to take out the doors. I had to obey my friend and wait for me in the sun. And so it was every time with my visitors. If you want, you will not sin! Even when a friend came to visit me, my evil bodyguard came to make sure he was not imagining it.
Marinka showed the nerd the fourth breast size, and the satisfied Indian, having recognized the woman in Marinka, retired, leaving us alone. These are the puritanical customs in the Beira Mar Alfran Resorts! Now another one about the hotel, which left an indelible impression in my psyche … Renton Manor . Different tour operators give this hotel and a different star: 2-3 stars. If my opinion, so only 2. Renton Manor is a hostel, but fun! There are generally no foreigners lodged.
Well, they can not stand it, when the drunk Russian peed on them from the top floor … Well, our people are going berserk! The Russian flags are hung out on the balcony, they bathe in the pool in caps with earflaps, and they shout at 4 am: “Why are not you sleeping, Russians?” And, the word “what” is fictional, actually sounds stronger. Well, strain your imagination! The service of swans from towels was twisting, cute … A big minus of the hotel, it’s remoteness from the beach. There seems to be a free bass to deliver to the beach intended, but it is once a day strictly on schedule.
Who goes there? You have to get on a bike or taxi, it’s not always convenient. On foot you will not reach. And if you do, you’ll all be cursed! Nevertheless, the proximity to the sea solves a lot of problems! And the most chic hotel, from the three I described, is The Baga Marina Resorts , it’s a “treshka”. The hotel is 10 minutes walk to the beach. Breakfast there for glory! Do not roll with jam, but all you want. And flakes, and fruits, and snacks are different, drinks to choose from, and the same rolls, too.
The pool and the 4-star landscape are pulled. In the evenings, live music, saxophone and other musical instruments. And the people seem to be not many, or decent, at least, do not yell at durninushkoy …. In the rooms generally fly away! Shower with a transparent wall. Your washing, therefore, can be viewed by anyone in the room on the bed. A good option for honeymooners, for lovers, and for those who want to renew relationships.
Unfortunately, in this hotel lived my girlfriend, and romanticism had only to dream. I hope that others will be more lucky. Everything in the hotel is new, from walls to towels, as if made for oneself. My house is worse at home. Safe, plasma, air conditioning, refrigerator, kettle, hair dryer and other benefits of civilization are stupefied, why is it “treshka”? In fact, she can be given a star more. Yes, it’s none of my business. But I advise everyone !!!!!!!!!
Beaches
I have traveled almost all the beaches of North Goa. It’s interesting and informative. I advise others to follow my example, not to sit in one place. Two neighboring beaches can radically differ from each other. The most detailed description of Baga beach , because it was located near my hotel, and it was there that I spent more time. The beach is noisy and bustling. On the chaise lounges are representatives of all Russian cities with beer and notes on their noses.
At Baga Beach, Goa, India
A ten-member company from Moscow for some reason sunbathing faded, and spread out a large gypsy camp directly on the sand on a pile of colored bedspreads, which caused bewilderment on the faces of local beggars. Foreigners are also many. They stand out with silly clothes, lots of tattoos and calm behavior. In the same way, Hindus from middle castes rest on Baga. The poor there do not rest at all, the rich prefer to relax slightly to the south, and the middle peasants all on the Baga.
Hindus on vacation – it’s something! Firstly: they absolutely can not swim and flounder with small flocks in a meter from the shore. At the same time, they are happy as children, you can not look without emotion! And if they throw a ball, the happiness of the Hindus will increase exponentially, and you will burst out of laughter! Secondly: Hindus bathe only in clothes. In T-shirts, shorts, weird pajamas. Probably because of the sense of economy. Then, in the same clothes, they walk along the streets, and in it they sleep.
Also in Baga, a lot of different traders are all sorts of trash: beads, bracelets, pens, trinkets, handkerchiefs and other unnecessary things. If you like some rubbish, then bargain until it stops. It is on the beach that most of all prices are thrown off. We set the record: 12 times! By the way, merchants can be very intrusive. Here’s a case … A woman who trades in fruit came up to me. Granny is like that, about 60 years old. With heroic courage I threw off a thirty-kilogram basket of fruit on the sand, and sat down beside me, waiting for a successful trade.
I did not want any fruit, and my grandmother did not want to leave. And then what does she do … She takes a melon out of the basket and falls down next to me on the lounger, twisting this very melon near my nose. I fell into complete prostration and I do not know what to do … It would be a young boy, he would have thrown it into the sand long ago. A pensioner, like how, drop it is a pity. Shalunya, meanwhile, is lying next to him, resting and melons are spinning … I had to get up, otherwise I would lie together.
A lot on this beach manicurists, pedicurists, artists of stupid tattoos and ears cleaners. Who is substituting his body for such people, I can not imagine! There are also a lot of beggars in Baga. They do not sell anything, they just beg for everything: food, drinks, money, and even paper napkins. It is worth one of them to give a coin, then all the gollyba from the beach will flee. So it’s better to ignore them. Although, not everyone has it. Here’s a funny case.
In the company of our guy was, on the nickname of the Pope. He, after the fifteenth “Mojito”, began to regret all the orphans of India and give them their property. The orphans waited patiently when the Pope reached a sentimental condition and before the time did not fit. We worried about the Pope, being afraid that he would have to walk very quickly on the beaches for alms. From all the gadgets, she liked the girl with ponytails, about six years old. He even wanted to adopt it.
But then he limited himself to buying a doll in the night market. The next day, Papa with a gift began to wait for the baby. But it’s not there. Then, the Pope began to tell the local people that he wanted a girl with tails. The beggars and merchants podnapryaglis, what kind of Russian pedophile is resting here? But the Pope did not let up and demanded the girl. Not knowing about the noble intentions of our friend, beggars parted and their children were not allowed closer.
Now about the massage. He is made in salons and on the beach. And, the masseurs are the same. In the morning he works on the beach, and in the evening at the salon. In Baga, this type of services is as vividly represented. Massage just need to do, you will not regret. Only here is the advice … Find out from the people who have been resting for a long time, which masseur is better, to him and go. And then we had a scandal of all-pile scale. In the place where our wild company, nicknamed “The Russian Mafia”, usually practiced, two masseurs practiced.
One – handsome Bani, really great masseur-ayurved, and the second – a dudok, dubbed us Old man or Arrogant. To Banya was not to break through, the master in great demand! And then Marinka decided to please the pensioner, especially since he secretly whispered to her that he would take a smaller payment. The next day, Banya was free, and the girlfriend decided to compare the skill of the two competitors. The hardened, seeing his client in the hands of the insidious ayurveda, already jumped in the air, ran up and began to disassemble.
Marinka reassured Old man, promising that tomorrow he would come to him again. And, really, I kept my word. The hardened tried twice, but after Bath it was already useless … And then Marinka almost went to Baths secretly (he still has a seat in the cabin), because The massage was very desirable, and there was no scandal on the beach. So be careful in choosing hands that will crumple you. Of course, in Baga there are a lot of various water activities: scooter, bananas, tablets, parachutes and other fun.
All this I also enjoyed in full, each time feeling myself Frezi Grant (who read Green, I understand). But most of all I liked the story about dolphins … For several days a local Indian came up to us and offered to watch dolphins, accompanying his sentence with a replica: “Know the dolphin – know mani”. It followed that if we do not see marine mammals, we do not need to pay money. We agreed.
Were dressed in life jackets and amicably crowded into a boat with a motor. We were driven for a long time, it was already hot. We decided to make a stop for swimming in the open sea. I and Martin removed the vests saved, tk. without them it is more convenient to dive, but after bathing and not put on. Dolphins, unfortunately, we are still in sight, jumped four pieces. So I had to fork out. And then we rushed back to the shore at a cosmic speed. The whole company was yelling at the fool: “Go faster! Give the gas! “.
Toli Hindu was scared by our cries, toli himself was a lover of fast sea driving, but I was afraid that my internal organs would tear off from a minute to a minute from such a jolt. And then Martin jumped out of the boat at full speed, somewhere far in the open sea. The Hindu did not notice. And we began to shout, they say, turn, there’s our comrade overboard. But the stupid captain did not react to our requests and took the Titanic further away from the place of the catastrophe.
After some time, without missing one passenger, the awakened Indian was very concerned. But to save our friend for some reason did not swim. And when he saw me without a waistcoat, he remembered about the same lifeless Martin, and quite sly, turning the boat to the shore. Probably decided that there is no one to save. Having reached the shore, everyone felt a sense of hunger and reached for a beach cafe. It is called “Photon”, I highly recommend it to everyone! Our caring waiter, Ricky, asked where Martin was.
We said that Martin drowned and started ordering, which made Ricky slightly perplexed. We became agitated only in an hour, when the Pope carefully walked the nearest 300 meters of the beach, but Martin never met. Martin, in turn, stunned by the marathon swim, reaching the shore, went in the opposite direction from us. A very long time wandered along the beach, trying to recover and find the place of our basing. The meeting with the marathoner was stormy and ended with fifteen Mojito. This is a beach – Baga!
About the rest of the beaches, where I was, I write a couple of lines. The beach of Calangute lies south of Baga, and is, in fact, its continuation. There everything is the same. Still south of Candolim . This beach is smarter, more respectable. Still the closest beach to the South. Rest on it rich Indian families and generally quiet people. I did not meet beggars and ears cleaners there. True, the approach to water is steep, not the best one I’ve seen.
Now north of Baga. Right next to the cape is the nearest Anjuna beach . It is better to go there in the evening for a stormy nightlife. There are many clubs, discos, night market nearby. And in the afternoon you can come to take pictures. There it is very picturesque: a steep rocky shore against the backdrop of palm trees. How can I not swim there? It was there that I hurt my foot on sharp stones. Further beach Vagator . Did not make a special impression on me. Maybe because I was there during the day.
Anjuna Beach, Goa, India
In the evening, they say, it is much more interesting there. There are crowds of people from all over the world, there is something to see. Near Chapora, the same. I was not in Morjim, I will not lie. But below are three of my favorite beach: Ashvem , Mandrem and Arambol . Arambol struck me with the width of the coastline and strong wind. Probably, because of this, there were simultaneously riding on kites 17 people, and in the sky a pair of kites flied. It was there that I met a classic hippie.
The people are small and the atmosphere is beautiful! Ashwem and Mandrem are very similar, they are clean and sparsely populated. I fell in love with Mandrem to the depth of my soul! The sand is really white, not gray or yellowish, as on other beaches. There are no people at all! What kind of merchants, scooters and masseurs … there is simply no one! Only tall coconut palms and awesome waves! The nearest sunbathing man is at a distance of 100-150 meters. A good place for lovers of sex on the beach. No one to look after … In any case, you will pass all the beaches, then you will understand exactly what you need!
Local population
Only in India I was enlightened that the Hindu and the Indian are different things. The Indian is an accessory to the nationality. And the Hindu is that Indian who professes Hinduism. The Hindus, of course, are the global majority. But I saw with my own eyes the Indians of Catholics and Muslim Indians (and very orthodox). They say local in Hindi. And since our Hindi people do not own, the explanations with the aborigines take place in English or Russian.
English Indians know as well as we: someone is good, but someone does not know at all. So do not be discouraged if you do not understand the boy who is scratching in English. It’s not you who are fools, but he does not speak well. As for the Russian language … Time for replicas such as “Buy an elephant” and “What is your name” has long been in the past. Turkeys may not speak fluent Russian, but everyone understands. We decided to make sure of this. Returning at night from Anjuna, from the club in a taxi, they began to discuss vigorously whether the liver of an Indian would get accustomed to a Russian.
Our driver is noticeably nervous and accelerated every two minutes, leading us on the sharp corners into a raging delight. And the Indians are grasping the information on the go. So, for example, on the beach one joker, from our company, carefully embraced me and says to Ricky the waiter: “My wife …”. The next day, Ricky brought me the ill-fated “Mojito”, and in pure Russian says: “My wife …”. To which our cheerful voice has moved: “Not yours, the fool, and mine …”.
And then Ricky showed the correct movements of his hands, “Not yours, but mine …”. That is, “your-mine” he understood perfectly, it is not necessary to teach for a long time.
Now about their morals . I was sincerely surprised at the stickiness of the Hindus, naively believing that this is characteristic of the Turks and the Egyptians. Holy simplicity! When you go alone, the feeling that you’re a super-movie pop and a porn star! All you say complement (the most not cool was the “Supermodel”), ask the name (if you say, they will remember and tomorrow by name will be called), promise something and invite somewhere.
With this, too, one story is connected … With Marina, we often ate a restaurant in the evenings. There the intelligent waiter was, in ochechkah, such a touching simpotyazhka! Young and thin … But every time I met Marina at 12:30 at night. And Marina is a martyr’s aunt, she has been practicing aikido for many years. And when this schoolboy invited her to go to the disco in the evening, and added his sentence with a retort: ”Do not worry, we’ll only be there an hour, then I’ll take you home …”.
Here we crossed in wild rzhach! It’s the same! And we wanted to adopt him …. Especially it is necessary to be vigilant in the water and stay away from a flock of squishing Indians. At first they swim to you unpretentiously, they supposedly tore the wave away. Then they accidentally wave their hands, and, as if in the area of your bohemian ass. And as soon as you begin to move away from the turkeys, they make a path for you with equal steps. And the feeling that you are standing still.
The best way then is to swim deeper into the Arabian Sea, at least ten meters, because more than five meters the Indians do not swim. But even if you are not alone, and with you a male, or a fig that does not help. Screams and suggestions less, of course. But here’s the case … We are sitting with a friend, we are dining in a restaurant. Nearby two Indians, it is visible for the first time in an institution have broken out. They ordered two colas and a bowl of rice for two. They rejoice like children, clink glasses and eat rice from different directions.
And here in their field of vision I got. They left the rice and looked at me, dreaming of a better life. I did not notice this. But my drunken companion saw, I sow a picture. And in a purely Russian language I turned to a couple of Indian friends: “Would you like to be photographed with a beautiful Russian girl? !!!” The turkeys understood the call, they grabbed their cameras and attached themselves to me from two sides. And while my companion was trying to figure out the simple Indian technique and catch the right angle, the little boys who had lent me time to climb into all my intimate places.
I had to interrupt the photo session in a hasty manner … Now, about their appearance … A couple of nice guys I met, but women are not alone. And where do they just take Zita and Gita for their tearful films? If an Indian woman is rich and well-groomed, then she is terribly fat. There’s such a terrible cellulite that any of our pyshka will look like a slender against the background. If the girl is slender, then she certainly from the lower caste, does not eat, poor, and without pain at all, you can not watch.
Dirty under the fingernails, a foul smell and lice in my head, the idea of the urgent need for her hospitalization. There’s generally a strange attitude to a woman. As a useless creature, she is not considered a person either. It’s not for nothing that the old lady of a basket weighs 30 kg on her head. A young wife should wash the feet of her husband’s parents, and …. drink this water !!! At the same time, all the relatives of the husband, brothers, cousins, uncles and even father (father-in-law) can enjoy sexually.
Hearing this information, marrying a Hindu, I definitely did not want it. Especially I was confused by the first part of the tests, with the washing of the feet. But, they say that this happens only in the lower caste of the “untouchables”. And normal, civilized Hindus do not have such a long time. It’s like our remnant, when my husband drove a wife with a whip and dragged a scythe. In general, the people are not malicious and not aggressive. Communicate, and you will appreciate …
Food
I ate everything, everywhere and much. Otherwise, what is the pleasure of having a rest? Spices in food and, however, abound. But if you want, you can always refuse them. I love the sharp, which caused respect for the local restaurateurs. In the menu you will find a mention of the Chinese, Italian, and even here and there even about Russian cuisines. But do not flatter yourself. Chinese cuisine, only remotely resembles one. And from the “Italian” pasta for the first time in my life, discomfort happened.
And Russian draniki though in the menu and stated, but are not available …. So I advise everyone to eat Goan or Indian dishes. This will protect you more from embarrassment. These local cooks prepare these dishes! But there is one more point. Each restaurant has its own representation, for example, about chicken soup or tuna salad. Therefore, choose the place where your taste and presentation of the cook about this particular dish coincide.
Beverages
As in food, I drank everything, everywhere and a lot. Otherwise, what is the pleasure of having a rest? I tried the local home-brewed – the fancy, which is made from cashew nuts and coconut. Fenya really pulls its name. This is, indeed, a local brew! Strong and smelly. And local people do not drink it, and ours too, tk. there are other amusements left … Even there is nothing more to say, about such an important drink. All people coming to Goa drink the Goan rum Old Monk. Rum, honestly – fabulous!
When leaving, my friends bought him a lot, and so did I. By the way, do not rely on dyutik. In Dabolim, he’s just no! Therefore, if anyone needs anything, buy before leaving in a nearby supermarket. Now further about the rum … My friends from Belarus have popularly explained to me that Old Monk sucks! And they drink white Goan rum Mc Dowells No. 1. (by the way, who does not know Old Monk-dark rum). Since Old Monk is simply more famous and untwisted, and few people know about white rum.
And they drink (bikers) this very white rum with lima. Also have suggested me to try. Deciding that lima, this is some kind of drug, I politely refused. But, attentive bikers, noticing my indecision, enlightened me. It turned out that Limka, this is a local lemonade, like our sprite, only based on lime. After trying the white Goan rum with lima, I was forced to admit the rightness of my motorcycle friends. Yes, indeed, white won the dark!
But if you’re on Goa, be sure to taste both rum, and decide for you! In addition, there are not bad wines. There are really wonderful! Especially liqueur varieties, to taste like the Cypriot “Team”. In general, there is no problem with Goa on the alcoholic. The choice in any store is awesome! You can please any gourmet: from tequila to steep champagne. On the birthday of one of our friends, whom we called Dima or Alekseich, four bottles or more were drunk of champagne.
Guys spat, they say, not the quality … But, what to take from the peasant? What do they mean in champagne? I, as a real taster, determined that the quality is quite decent. And the most important warning to tourists! ATTENTION! … Do not drink, and do not order a cocktail under the dashing name of “Motocycle”! Seeing with a friend in a cocktail card unknown to the world, and besides, the ridiculous name “Motocycle”, we decided to taste a mysterious potion …
They brought us, smelling of moonshine, liquid contents. And the color is similar to the water that has just been washed this very motorbike. We sniffed and looked closely for a long time, and yet took a sip, in the faint hope that the taste of the drink would piss us off. But, the miracle did not happen … I do not write about the future … The author of this drink, probably, is already burning in Hell with a blue flame!
Drugs
Here just I’m not everywhere, and not much. I do not use drugs at all. But on Goa you can see the atmosphere. As I understand, with the purchase of drugs, there are no problems. Anywhere and anytime. In the company of my cheerful friends, I first tried cocaine, and the biker sympathizers treated me with hashish. I did not feel a special change in consciousness. Unless coke was dancing more cheerfully, and from hash was more firmly slept on the beach.
But all the records beat Magic cake! Magic cake, it means … We arrived with Marina to my favorite beach Mandrem. Taxi was ordered back and forth. And this is correct, since it is difficult to get out of this wilderness, especially after the pies. Since the infrastructure is not very developed on Mandrem, we took with us everything we needed: a white rum with lima, tequila for Marina, a pack of cookies, a melon and some other tropical fruit whose names I do not remember.
They took the supine and began to eat. At a decent distance, about 200 meters, there was a cafe, which looked like the house of Robinson Crusoe. To it our loungers were attached. Seeing our chic dostarkhan, the café worker was frightened that we would not order anything and asked for a fee for lying down. But we calmed the aborigine, and said that we will come to eat in his chic restaurant. After a couple of swimmers, we fulfilled this promise, went to dinner.
Despite the poor view of the establishment, all the food ordered by us was quite decent quality and really tasty. Even a bottle of wine was found, not bad too. And so, at the end of the banquet, a cunning waiter comes up to us and offers a dessert … Would you like, say, Magic cake to taste? My friend and I are not enlightened people, we naively wondered what kind of pie is this and what’s the magic? The public catering employee explained that this is a very tasty cake with the addition of a small amount of marijuana.
After a short meeting, we decided that without dessert in any way … Carry! It’s good that one pie was taken. Magic cake in appearance and taste resembled our cake “Potato”. Is that the spices are larger, and the sugar is smaller. The funniest thing is that the magic cost it a spear, and it was included in the official account. I even took a check. Calculating for the meal, Marina and I fell down on the beds and began to digest the food we had eaten.
Ten minutes later a caring waiter approached us and offered to buy cocaine, heroin, hashish, marijuana and other good quality drugs at reasonable prices. We politely refused the deal. The poor fellow simply did not calculate time, deciding that the magic pie had already worked on us. Well, he did not come across visible with a strong female, and even Russian, body! Although, if he came fifteen minutes later, we would have bought a lot of things from him.
We felt the magic effect suddenly. There was a state of surrealism, lack of control over the limbs, language, behavior and was accompanied by all the wild rust. With such a strong effect, you might think that marijuana was the most innocent component of a cake. At the same time, we decided that we need to take a couple of pies with us, wrap them up, they say, to us on the road … We came back to the cafe, sat down, rzhem, and waited for the waiter to order additional magic. And then all is not present.
Then Marina was going to go into the back room and hurry the brakes. As she walked to the kitchen, we thought that there were not enough two pies, but at least four. In the back room the waiter was holding something on the tray. Then Marinka gave him four pies and ordered … The waiter dropped the tray and fell into a stupor. Thank God, we did not wait for pies, or until now they would have sat there. Having collected the remains of brains, we decided to move closer to home.
At the exit from the beach, our taxi waited carefully. However, on the way home, in a taxi, we did not behave decently. I omit the details, since this is a shame to write. But this is all the action of the ill-fated pie! And we did not see the taxi driver in the parking lot any more. That’s it … Amsterdam is resting!
Entertainment
If we talk about the excursion program, then for every taste! At one time, of course, everything is not realistic. India is very rich in interesting places! I visited several Hindu temples. It’s beautiful and interesting. But at once I will say that there is nothing to do there for an unprepared person. I immediately got confused in the deities: Shiva, Vishnu, Ganesha, Rama, Lakshmi, Brahma, Hanuman, etc. Who is this at all? For those who are planning a similar excursion, it is better to pre-enroll at home with knowledge and read relevant literature.
On this tour I went with a company, which I just can not help but mention. That’s where enlightened people are! Valentina (nicknamed our company Baba Val), Natalia and Elena. Valentina is 65 years old, Natalia and Elena are younger. I met them in Baga, and then introduced our wonderful company. The purpose of these lovely ladies’ visit to India is to visit the Sai Baba residence in the Ashram. Baba Valya, as the most stubborn, long rinsed my brains and explained who Sai Baba is.
Allegedly it is the God of embodiment who Babu Valya has healed from all diseases, saved from disability, performs miracles, and once a year from the throat a golden egg gives birth. And that to fall at his feet is a great happiness. The admirers of Sai Baba, if they read my opinion, ask me to forgive, if I misunderstood something or stated something. And women on the insane are clearly not similar, quite sane. I listened attentively to Baba Valya, took note of the information, and we went to have a snack in my favorite “Photon”. And then Baba Vala, in a beautiful spiritual impulse, began to sing the mantra, clap her hands, and then dance. The sound of “OM”, ten times sang.
And her voice is sonorous, Baga’s floor has flocked to the concert to see. Many Indians sang Baba Vale, and many openly neighing. Probably, like me, not enlightened. I just could not hide such bright frames from friends and introduced them. Vera and Martin had no suspicions from Baba. With Dima and Marina, Baba Valya did not have time to talk. And about the Pope said that this is a demon. Then Baba Vala and her friends went to the Ashram for a week, and we began to wait for their return.
Dad waited especially, he wanted to be enlightened. It’s not nice to be a demon … Unfortunately I did not wait, I flew home home, and was not enlightened. I flew away later, so Babu Valya waited. The aunts came back very inspired. Elena said that she had all her teeth free of charge. Natalia constantly wrote the preparations for the article, she is a journalist. And Baba Vala sang even more and distributed calendars to everyone with Sai Baba. Here with them I went to the Hindu temples on tour and went.
Most of all, during the tour, the guide suffered. Since Baba Vala stayed at each site, she gathered around her people and told about Sai Baba, giving out calendars. And, she enlightened the Hindus in Russian. All in a row, from schoolchildren to brahmins in temples. Olga, who had never seen such a life in her life, dreamed about the end of the working day … I was also in amazing Catholic temples. They are all built in the early 17th century, very beautiful and majestic and are under the protection of UNESCO.
I advise all to see the plantation of spices. But where I really wanted, but did not hit, it’s rafting on the local river. People, if anyone was, write a review. Of course, it is worth to visit the night market in Anjuna or in Arpor. This is not just a bazaar, where you can buy at least an elephant, even the magic lamp Aladdin, and also a circus in the open air. There fakirs, gymnasts, acrobats, and groups sing some songs. And part of the people are clinging to clowns. Whom there only you will not see! And in the afternoon, in the same place, we accidentally went to some local carnival. Type of the feast of Neptune.
The whole people were mummer, with dancing and wild hoot, moving along the street. We drove a large crocodile, artificial, naturally. And on it the peasant in the crown sat, Neptune can be seen … My companion in a fur hat with a fur hat, too, went for a rumor. Who else at whom I mocked … If we talk about nightlife, then in Goa it’s not at all a problem. At every step, bars, clubs and discos. The advertised and popular with the local population clubs Mambo and Titos I was not impressed.
There are a lot of Indians, well, very much! But the Plastik bar, which is also mentioned in many advertising brochures, is replete with alcoholic Anglicans. With the owner of Plastik, Max, I personally know. Max is half Italian, half Turkish (thermonuclear mixture!), The guy pleasant and politely soldered me in his bar every night. There are no Hindus in Plastik at all, and only I from the Russians and those whom I brought with me. But it was in Plastik that I practiced in English. Anglikosy with pribobahom, definitely!
One of them, whom we called the Shoe fetishist, regularly took off my sandals on a 10 cm stiletto, tried to dress them, but the sizes did not match. Then Shoe fetishist crammed half of his paw into my Cinderella shoes, and began to dance for fun to all spectators. My heart bleated, feeling for the fate of sandals. But it was not possible to snatch the shoes from the hands of a maniac, until he nallyashetsya. Once I without a heel in Plastik has come, so the Shoe fetishist almost cried …
But the coolest club on North Goa is Paradiso! The sculptural bar they call it. There, however, something from the gypsum is heaped up, the music is not bad (chaos, there is no trance), and the contingent is normal. To the best of all: Hindus, Russians, Anglikos and other people. It was there that I met a guy with whom we met last winter in Thailand. It even does not fit in my head! And they say that the planet Earth is big … Paradiso is located in Anjuna. For girls there is free entrance.
If the dancing is boring, then you can just sit on the beach with a hookah at night. We often practiced it with my girlfriend. On the Baga, for example, in the evening, beds are cleaned and set up tables. The people eat, drink, hookah indulges, the sound of the sea listens. And next to the local fakiris fiery shows show, the girls-acrobats roam along the rope, etc. But the greatest entertainment is watching the dancing Indians! They get in a circle, and some guys, and start to compete, who will jump higher and pull the leg. Umora! Well, I think no one will be bored.
Police
At first I thought that there was no police in Goa at all. With so many drug dealers and with such gross violations of traffic rules, Russian guards of the order would be gilded. And there is somehow quiet. I did not even imagine the form of local policemen, because I have not seen one. But later it turned out that there was such a service, and I saw the form. And I collided with them, thank God, for a very decent occasion.
I had one acquaintance of a Hindu, Ashew was his name. Pretty cute and decent, a businessman from Mumbai. And now he took me to motobike local attractions to inspect. We went to Anjuna, sat in a cafe, drank beer and decided to return back. Passing the bridge through a small river, Ashyu motobike stopped and invited me from the bridge to the river creek to admire. We stand on the bridge, we look … It’s getting dark now, and it’s already decent.
A nearby restaurant, right on the river bank, and from there comes a rhythmically-exciting melody. And then my friend in dance set off, right on the bridge. Bends before me, jumps up, waving his arms and sings something else. Straight Indian cinema! Well, poured Raj Kapoor! My psyche could not stand this sight, and I bent over in a fit of wild rust. And the dancer does not stop, continues to fascinate me in the fiery dance.
Then the police car drove through, and noticing strange movements on the bridge, stopped. The guards came out and asked if everything was all right. I wiped away the tears that burst out laughing, and explained to the caring policeman that everything is OK and this is my friend. Well done, I checked to see if they offended me. And Raj Kapoor danced and sang for a long time, barely calmed him down.
Transport
That’s where exactly fear can be tolerated, so this is the transition of the Goan roads! God, this is some kind of unthinkable movement! There are no rules, no logic! Movement, of course, left-handed. Motobike to hire for you, without asking for a driving license. And, according to the law, the rights should be exactly on the category “A”. But who cares? And now our people, having drunk (one guy in general saw a drunkard in the hollow), to sit on the bike and try to keep to the left. Immediately stumbles and moves to the right.
Still nothing if the street is relatively empty, and if the traffic is intense, then the collision is almost guaranteed. I myself have not seen any accidents. But I saw two victims of a car accident. Two Russian guys from head to toe decorated with bandages and scalped wounds. What a demon does not move on the road! Private cars, buses, taxis, tuk-tuki, bicycles, bikes, cows and people. Moreover, the streets are very narrow, there are no sidewalks, as there are no signs and road signs (only in large cities).
And cows in a lot of drifting through the streets and beaches. On the beach, why? There is not even grass. My familiar bikers moved only by taxi. Firstly: after their steep mocici, it was stupid for them to sit down on such a junk. And secondly: they really feared for their lives, seeing such chaos on the roads. Knowledgeable people, I tend to believe them … So be careful. Even if you are a real motorcyclist, and do not intend to enter anywhere, then in any case they can enter you. This also applies to pedestrians …
Life
I came to Goa with a fumigator and a pack of anti-coffee tablets. But I never used it. Not a single “mosquito-kusato” has encroached on my tender body. Can not the season? In Beira Mar Alfran Resorts and in Renton Manor I saw a couple of times small lizards, but not in the room, but in the corridor. Now the livestock is bigger … There are a lot of cows. Rather, it’s even bullheads. They go wherever they want. Since the cow in India is considered a sacred animal, the legitimate question arose: “Where do they take beef for restaurant menus?” Then it turned out that only the humpbacked Zeba cow is sacred. That’s her kill and can not eat, but gobies can.
Arambol beach
Then another question arises: “Why are the potentially edible bulls walking unattended?” I did not observe the shepherds there, and after all the local folk and steal the bull-calf can … It’s not clear … There are plenty of dogs too. If dogs live at a cafe, then they are kind and lazy. The whole day they lie and bask in the sun. But there are hungry and aggressive, type as with my construction. But it is very difficult to meet cats there. I did not see any. The fact is that the cats are pecked by eagles during the day.
And if there are any cats, they leave the shelters only at night. There are really many eagles in Goa! On Bag, one or two fly. And on Mandrem, I counted eleven pieces in the sky at once. Strongly into the local forests I do not advise you to climb, you can step on the snake. Now about the reptiles of the sea … The Arabian Sea has pleasantly amazed me! The water is warm and clean. I did not find any stub or wrapper. The wave is fabulous! In the coastal sand, there are many holes and from these, small gray arthropods creep out periodically: either crayfish, or crabs, or spiders.
On the shallows on the beach Vagator I sea cucumber slipped. She was afraid of stingrays, but she did not meet a single one, like a jellyfish, as well as sea urchins. Dolphins, as I already wrote, I surveyed. With these dolphins, straightforward anecdotes alone … At Ashvem, my friend, Yura-biker swam far, far away. We look, and he rushes to the shore with a cosmic speed and yells something. I jumped out of the water with round eyes and shouted to the whole beach: “Shark! Shark! ». The shark, they say … The local people mocked him, the dolphin is … But Yura did not go to the sea any more. And the people who are resting, who heard Yuri scream, looked very timidly at the water …
Purchases
In the first three days, you can not buy anything! Not knowing the prices, not knowing how to bargain and in general, not knowing what you need, you necessarily lohanets! Understanding the real value of things comes the day on the fifth. And why only the people do not rush with Goa! The most unreasonable of my purchases was the purchase of a sari. Vera, a girl from our company, a beauty and a dancer, bought four of these saris. Well, she understands, you need to dance. In the hotel we tried on the saris, cute … I also wanted. Me somewhere? At the carnival except …
But there was no turning back, we were already going to the cherished shop. And, from the Pope was also received an order to buy a red sari. The Indian merchant Vera met as her own! Vera chose a red sari for the Pope, and I saw green and turquoise. But the sari is really beautiful! And besides, at a fair price. All conditions for regular customers! The Indian in the sari dressed me and incidentally taught me where to wind, so that six meters of green canvas on me looked and did not fall.
Immediately in the next shop I got into six of the same green bracelets. And as a sign of special location, put the patterned seal on the hand of some kind of mug (should be henna). The drawing was not washed off for five days. Here such elegant I along the street also has gone, than has caused double delight of local men. Many even closer approached, which would be better to see. After a successful shopping, the whole company in the cafe was stretched out to supper, and I was in a sari. So he did not take pictures all evening.
But then I had a problem. For sari the topic is needed. As he is correctly called, I do not know. Buy it is not possible. It is sewn from a piece of cloth that is cut off from the end of the sari. And what do you think? On the first day after returning home, I ran to the studio and ordered this topic for 1600 rubles.! The cutter was shocked, the topics for saris in Western Siberia are rarely ordered. Now I do not know where to go to the sari … Well, cashmere scarves and woolen Tibetan blankets are absolutely necessary!
Just do not rush, at first glance they are all the same, but the percentage of threads can be different. Look for, of course, 100% cashmere and 100% wool. People bought large amounts of toothpaste Dabur RED in large batches. It is red with some spices, Ayurvedic, then the whole mouth burns. They say that it’s very good. I, having succumbed to the herd feeling, also bought a dozen tubes, now it’s enough for a year. What else should I take home … Rom, of course. Spices and tea.
CD with Goan music. Mike with the image of marijuana. Decorative plate made of marble with Indian motifs. The Kama Sutra Book. The books are not large, they are translated into Russian. They are good at taking souvenirs. We Kama Sutra chorus read and laughed! So lively everything is described! And buy at least one elephant. I myself chose an elephant for a long time, there are a lot of them in souvenir shops. And as I saw, I immediately realized that it was HE! And on the elephant, Papa and Martin gave me.
So I brought home the whole elephant, and added it to the elephant from Thailand. On the way back at the airport you will meet a lot of people with Indian drums. From small to huge. I did not buy a drum. But then Marina and I broke all the records for buying ridiculous things … On the last night before leaving, about three hours, we went to a local supermarket. And then we saw a miracle-brooms caught. Local broomsticks, from the local feather grass.
The missing part is long, narrow and soft, and not short, wide and stiff like that of Russian brooms. Handle comfortable, plastic. We decided to buy a curiosity … It’s clear to me, to fly to the Sabbath. The most fashionable witch I will be! And why Marinka? The vacuum cleaner is again there. In short, in the morning at the airport we with brooms flaunted. It’s good that they were packed in red polyethylene. And our compatriots did not even understand what kind of crap we’re driving. But local, having learned unpretentious packing, were cut! This they clearly saw for the first time.
Departure
There were four people in the minibus that drove us to Dabolim. I and Marina with brooms, a guy and a girl. Marina and I were laughing, the girl was sad, but the guy is not sane. The only phrase he dropped all the way was: “If – if.” A clear connoisseur of English! We were brought very early and by the very first of three hundred passengers of Boeing. It is visible North of Goa tried to take out all the drunks faster. We did not want to be let into the airport, it’s too early to say we do not work.
But after seeing the contingent arrived, they took pity and let in the waiting room, strictly ordering them not to move, not to wander and not to riot. Having settled in the airport chairs, my friend and I took out a white rum with limp that I liked, and steeled with India to say goodbye. We also had a box of cheese with us, which we either could not open. They asked for help from a local cleaner. That box hacked, and seeing our simple meal just dumbfounded.
Moreover, Dabolim is a civilian and military airport, next to the turkeys with machine guns, and we quietly eat and drink at nine in the morning …. The cleaner ran after his colleagues and three people looked at us without taking their eyes off. At that time, a bus arrived from the South. From it came serious and respectable people, about twenty people, and without any brooms and drums. But they were not allowed to enter the airport. And they were roasting in the sun. And one man looked with envy and bewilderment through the transparent glass, why these two Russian shishigs are thumping, and he can not enter … There is no answer to this question … Now about the baggage. All, probably, faced with a preponderance.
In Dabolim, this is strictly military, but here we are again lucky! Cunning Indus, who met our minivan, immediately realized what he can earn. My bags and I are heavy, with a clear advantage. And for a strange couple, which we called: “If and Grushka,” one bag for two, 12 kilos in total. So the turkey is doing … He’s mine, Marinin and a couple of bags put it on the scales at once. And says, they say, this is one company, for four.
Naturally, there is no advantage either. My friend and I gave the resourceful guy some kind of spear, without paying for the preponderance of rabid dollars. Then there was a wild delay in the flight, India did not want to say goodbye to us. I was worried that I did not manage to make a connecting flight to Novokuznetsk. But everything worked out, had time, five minutes before the end of landing on the plane.
The result
I spent wonderful days on Goa, which I will remember in my old age. Although a little bit, but I learned this country. I met a lot of good and interesting people. And I will not forget them either. Thanks to everyone who was with me these days. I love you too!!! Thanks for all the gifts (who gave, he will understand what they mean). And the small flaws of India, piles of garbage everywhere, global poverty and so on, so I did not pay attention to it at all. Everything seemed very cozy to me! Visit India (Goa) and be able to draw your personal conclusions. Good luck everyone!
Travel Goa for Couple 